Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Big Juan

It was late on a Saturday evening, and I was in my bathroom getting ready for a shower, when my seventeen year old son, Darren, who had been out with friends all day, started pounding on the door while hollering, Mom! Mom! I opened the bathroom door to find him doubled over, holding his stomach, and saying that he didn't feel very well, at all. He wanted to know if I had anything that he could take for his stomach, because it hurt so badly. I'm like, well, what happened?! What's going on??!!

WHAT. DID. YOU. DO???!!!

Oh, he proceeded to tell me, that he just got back from the Mexican restaurant the Hacienda, where moments before, he had finished eating their four pound burrito, the Big Juan, for a free t-shirt, and his picture on their wall. What, I said? You ate four pounds of food?? His nod, complete with the grimaced look on his face, told me that he was telling the truth. Now he was in utter misery, and was muttering something about when his receipt blew off of the table, at the restaurant, he could barely bend over to pick it up.
 He began to moan, and asked me what he could do, since now he was feeling so sick. The only thing I could think of, for immediate relief, was for him to expel it-- and not in my clean toilet either, seeing as I was having a house full of company the next day. So, outside he went, and came back in just minutes later, feeling all better. Then he told me that as soon as he got outside, it all came up, splattered everywhere, even on his shoes, and before coming back into the house, had taken out his cell phone and captured the precious moment. "This is what 4 pounds of burrito vomit looks like," he said. GAG me with a spoon! Only our Darren would have thought to do that.
 He may have conquered the Big Juan while at the Hacienda, however, once home, the Big Juan conquered him. I asked him later if it was worth it, and he said, "Heck yeah, I got my picture on the wall, didn't I?" My husband and I couldn't be more proud.

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